Made to Crave Journey

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My most recent conviction appears to be related to vanity at first glance. I need to lose weight. Specifically, I need to be healthier. Since having Addie in March, I've lost 30 pounds. That's great, and I'm happy that my body is responding to the appropriate doses of thyroid. (I've had Hashimoto's Thyroiditis on and off and chronic hypothyroidism since having Presley 3 years ago. It's been a long road, but I believe my endocrinologist and I have finally figured out the dosing needed to keep me functioning correctly.)

But 30 pounds is not enough, and I should not become content with it since, to be in a healthy BMI range, I need to lose 20 more pounds. It's those 20 that have crept up on me and stuck around since getting married in 2004. You see, I hate to work out. It's not only boring to me - yes, I've tried TONS of different activities - but it makes me hot, sweaty, and itchy. I don't like that feeling. If that wasn't enough, I love food. Good food. Fast food. Foodie food. All of it. These two issues combined with mothering 2 little ones, grad school, and the hobbies I do like (i.e. sewing, blogging, Pinterest) create a hostile environment for getting and staying healthy.

None of that was news to me. In the past few years, I've taken steps to get healthy and lose weight. On and off, I've detoxed, gone organic, eaten clean, subscribed to Eating Clean (does that count?), done yoga, started the Couch to 5K program, walked a lot, tracked in MyFitnessPal.com, and probably other things. I have the knowledge and know how: The problem is the commitment. 

Then steps in God. After Addie was born, I remember praying that I'm giving my weight issue over to Him. I wasn't going to obsess and take away time from family, even in the form of thoughts, over losing weight. I couldn't do any drastic, crazy eating change because my toddler and husband need to be fed, and I didn't want to make two meals. With school and a new baby, working out was not a real option. So a miracle is what I needed. But, again, I seriously was at peace with God about it all after praying. 

Literally, the very next day, Amazon recommended this book.

Get it here.

"Why not?" was my thought. I bought it for my Kindle, breezed through it, and my heart was seriously changed. (I am now rereading it with greater intention and reflection.) After reading this book, I realized two big things: 1. God does care about my physical body and what I do with it. Because He cares, I should also. 2. Since I now wanted to get healthy for Christ and it was Him convicting me instead of me convicting myself, I can rely on His strength in this battle instead of my own.

I should also insert here that the Sunday after finishing Made to Crave the first time, a guest speaker and friend of ours at church also reiterated the fact that God cares about our physical body and how we take care of it. This was confirmation that what was going on in my heart wasn't just me.

So what next? I know what it takes to lose weight. I've read the books. Joined the clubs. All of it. So the next step was applying this information the same as would before but with a whole different motivation. The plan now was to sacrifice for, rely on, and give to God. So I put these little reminders from Made to Crave all over the house.

These are on my refrigerator. "My pity party is a clue that I am relying on my own strength." "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness. -2 Corinthians 12:19" "Let the peace of God reign in my heart (not the piece of junk in my tummy."

The pity party quote resonates with me because I actually get fussy internally when I'm denying myself something I was craving. The 2 Corinthians verse is perfect because just as I'm about to cave and eat something I know I shouldn't, I'm reminded that my weakness is when God's strength can take over if I let it. Finally, the last quote/verse is one of my mantras when I'm gnawing on celery and grumbling about it. The part in parentheses was added by me.

View of my pantry.

"I pray...that you be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. -Ephesians 3:19"

This reminds me that I'm already full of the Holy Spirit.

View into the pantry. Just want to note here that I have since organized the whole thing using pretty containers from the Dollar Spot at Target. So I'm not going to be embarrassed by this clutter.

"________ (fill in food item here) doesn't love me. The only lasting thing that I get from is the cellulite they leave behind. God's love is here in this moment and in many more to come. His love is true and carries with it only positive residual effects."

"Old lie: I need these ________ (fill in blank with food item). New truth: The thought that these ____________ will fill me is a lie. They will taste good for just the few minutes it takes to eat them. Then that hollow feeling of guilt will rush in as soon as the food high dissipates. If I truly need a snack right now, I am capable of choosing a healthier option."

"Old lie: I am a failure at dieting. New truth: I am not a failure. I am a lavishly loved child of God. Part of my right as a child of God is to operate in a power beyond myself. The Holy Spirit is God's gift to me. So it is possible to use the self-control I've been given."

I love these Old lie/New Truth quotes and find them empowering. They, again, are teaching and reminding me to rely on God only. 

"Exercise. This one act un-divides my heart and reminds me of the deeper purposes for moving my body."

This one is on my laundry room door, so I see it as I leave the house. Gotta be honest, I'm not "there" yet regarding exercise. Perhaps the 105 degree heat has something to do with that??? My bf and I like to joke that Pinning exercise plans is a start at least.

"I want to lift up my willingness to the Lord and dedicate my exercise as a gift to Him and myself."

This one is on my mantle - underneath the T.V. The placement isn't as effective as I intended it to be.

"Just as God promised the Israelites blessings for obedience, He warned them of consequences for not rebuilding the temple as He desired. (Story in the book of Haggai.) While we may not feel effects of ignoring our health immediately, our choices eventually catch up to us." 

The reminder of the story in Haggai is taped to my bathroom mirror. It's pretty self-explanatory. To summarize the story, God told the people to repair a temple and if they did, blessings and good things would happen. But the people got flippant and repairing the temple was not a priority to them. After years of neglect, drought and some other negative consequences happen. The people finally repair the temple - and it's probably more work after all that time versus had they just kept it up in the first place - and all is well with them and God. Substitute "my body" for "temple" in this story, and you got yourself the perfect parable.

It's been a couple of months, and, honestly, I've gotten worn out and tired and bored of this ordeal. That's my pity party. I keep motivated by rereading the Made to Crave and referencing the verses. I also needed more of a "plan" that allowed me to still enjoy food and feed my family balanced meals, so I joined Weight Watchers 2 or 3 weeks ago. It's going steady and all is good...Kind of like God. Steady and good.

I have 20 difficult pounds to lose. Prayers are appreciated as well as healthy, Pinterest-worthy recipes and personal stories of your own dealing with weight loss, Made to Crave, Weight Watchers, or anything else related to the post.